Unbelievably, 2021 is beginning with more chaos, death, and suffering than we imagined possible. How, in the midst of a storm, do we persevere and embrace compassionate leadership? Take these four steps as the antidote to a disorienting world: Slow down to understand what lies beneath all the activity, and to anchor yourself, stay focused on the compassionate leadership skills that are always productive, and seek to offer compassion to everyone.
Acknowledge the root cause of negative behaviors.
It is difficult to observe the world when events are swirling with the intense force and speed of a tornado. When we look on the surface and see destructive, negative behaviors, it is only natural to be angry. What happens when we scratch beneath the surface and look at what is driving those behaviors? Negative behaviors like violence and hate are a response to a perceived threat. This violence isn’t a sign of strength. It is a clear signal of fear – a fear response to the threat.
Recognizing the root cause of negative behavior allows us to respond in ways that address that root cause. Responding in kind with anger and judgment may be our tendency, but is rarely productive. Responding with a full awareness of what is truly occurring, on the other hand, is challenging, and requires great courage.
Find a centered, anchored place from which to act.
Responding courageously takes discipline and focus. We always have a choice as to where we place our attention. When we turn off our phones and their often toxic news and social feeds; when we turn away from fear and toward joy, gratitude, and connection, we can feel the present and our aliveness that inhabits each moment. Focusing here gives us the foundation and strength from which we can act to bring about meaningful, lasting change.
Taking even a few calming breaths can be enough to slow our reactive brain down. Instead of responding to anger with anger, we can choose to determine our actions through our thinking brain. Research is clear that we are more productive when we are able to act from a position of calm. This is very important, because as Martin Luther King, Jr. said so wisely, “Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.”
Power up your leadership skills with compassion.
Leaders, by definition, motivate others toward a shared common goal. If you want to bring about change with others, remember what works. Listening carefully to others helps you find a place of shared outcomes. Telling others that they are wrong, or yelling at them, doesn’t help. Creating a sense of safety is imperative if you want to effect change, while shame and fear are notoriously ineffective.
Making progress requires a clear objective. It is not enough to criticize what is wrong. Hope in the possibility of purposeful outcomes is particularly important in motivating organizations and teams.
Offer compassion and love to all.
It is easy to love your friends and allies. Offering compassion to those whose behaviors are destructive and harmful is not so easy. This is why deep compassion requires so much strength. Don’t fall for the illusion that compassion is soft.
Imagine a world where everyone felt safe; where there was no need of fear. As leaders, let’s not just imagine such a world, but create it step by step. We can engage in simple everyday practices such as greeting each other with sincere warmth, offering small acts of caring, or listening with full attention. We can also build our compassion skills by engaging in regular practices such as lovingkindness.
These and many other practices bring forth greater safety, health, and equanimity for ourselves, our friends, and even those we find it hard to respect and love. Start now. Don’t underestimate the enormous power of these small steps to bring a greater sense of peace and purpose to our challenged world.
Photo by Duané Viljoen from Pexels.