Lovingkindness is a core practice for developing Compassionate Leadership. It’s foundational for developing a compassionate stance toward ourselves, toward people we like and also those we dislike, and for the greater whole of all beings. Lovingkindness gives us an opportunity to strengthen our “compassion muscle,” and cultivate a positive response to our natural negative internal and external biases.
Multiple studies have researched the benefits of Lovingkindness Meditation, over long and short periods of time. As you might imagine, it reduces our feeling of stress and anxiety. Additionally, it can reduce inflammation, reduce depressive and chronic pain symptoms, improve resilience, bolster self-acceptance, increase social connectedness, support a wide range of positive emotions including love, joy, and gratitude, and even slow the aging process. Bottom line, we feel better towards ourselves and towards others.
Taking up a daily practice of lovingkindness can reap enormous benefits, even if just for a few minutes a day. Research shows that a regular and longer practice will deliver more powerful results for both the body and the mind. That said, any amount of lovingkindness practice can help shift your state and begin to have ripple effects out into the world.
The phrases shared below are traditional. Many people like to personalize the phrases to make them feel more comfortable and relevant. Choose phrases that answer one of the core self-compassion questions, “What do I need?” Examples of universal human needs are to be loved, seen, heard, respected, safe, peaceful, and so forth. Play with the traditional phrases and your own to see what resonates most deeply with you.
Time: Start with 2-5 minutes of practice. Increase the time and frequency as you become more comfortable with the practice. You can increase the time by repeating the cycle more often, or by adding sections into the middle between Step One and Step Three.
STEP ONE
Find a quiet place where you can sit comfortably with the eyes closed or gently gazing downward. This practice is also suitable to do lying down, standing, or walking. Set your intention for opening your heart/mind to lovingkindness.
STEP TWO
Begin by offering words of lovingkindness to yourself. Say the words silently or in a soft, loving tone as you speak to yourself. Repeat as many times and at whatever pace allows you to focus on each phrase and soak it in. As your mind wanders, which is natural, bring your attention back to the phrases again and again.
May I be safe
May I be happy
May I be healthy
May I live with ease
Next, think of someone who brings a smile to your face; someone who has been kind and supportive to you. It can be a person alive in the world, or one who has passed, someone that you’ve known personally or simply admire. It’s even fun to do this by thinking of your favorite four-legged friend. Imagine their presence by your side and offer the phrases of lovingkindness to them.
May you be safe
May you be happy
May you be healthy
May you live with ease
Now, call to mind someone who is dealing with a challenge, or someone that you have a challenge with. Imagine their presence and offer the phrases of lovingkindness to them. In this middle section you can also experiment with someone who is a simple acquaintance, or even strangers that you pass on the street. We are working on shining compassionate attention beyond ourselves.
May you be safe
May you be happy
May you be healthy
May you live with ease
Next is an example of an additional section you can add as you grow your practice. Perhaps you are in an organization, in a community, with a group, a class, thinking about your family, or a circle of friends. You can add the “You “and “I“ together, and send lovingkindness to “we.”
May we be safe
May we be happy
May we be healthy
May we live with ease
STEP THREE
The last part of the meditation offers us the opportunity to send well wishes for all beings everywhere. Initially, this may seem like a big stretch, and yet it is the aspect that moves us to recognize our common humanity most clearly. Yes, we are all connected. We are growing our compassionate stance by sending lovingkindness beyond the immediate circle of our obvious connections. See if you can open your heart and cultivate compassion for everyone.
May all beings be safe
May all beings be happy
May all beings be healthy
May all beings live with ease
Closing
When you are ready, end the repetition of phrases. Notice if you feel any different in any parts of your body, or if your emotional status has shifted. This meditation can be repeated multiple times throughout the day, and continues to deepen its impact with more practice. Enjoy!
PS. Here are all the phrases together for a streamlined practice:
May I be safe
May I be happy
May I be healthy
May I live with ease
May you be safe
May you be happy
May you be healthy
May you live with ease
May we be safe
May we be happy
May we be healthy
May we live with ease
May all beings be safe
May all beings be happy
May all beings be healthy
May all beings live with ease