The relationship between compassion and perceived time pressure has been known for a long time. From the well-known study, “From Jerusalem to Jericho” at Princeton Theological Seminary nearly fifty years ago, to our most recent research with participants in our Compassionate Leadership and Resilience Training cohorts, the feeling that there is not enough time impairs one’s ability to act compassionately. This creates a significant problem, because we can’t manufacture more time. There are twenty-four hours in a day. Period.
Ironically, the solution doesn’t come from trying to work faster. The solution lies in slowing down enough to allow ourselves to be present to the present moment – the only moment we ever have available to us. When we slow down and act more mindfully, we can get more done. There is a term for this in the military: “Slow is smooth, and smooth is fast.” The paradox of our slowing down is that it allows us to make better choices, more effective choices, and more compassionate choices.
Compassion isn’t the time eater.
The problem isn’t that we don’t have enough time to be compassionate – it is that in our rushed state, it is harder to act with intentional compassion. Research shows that when we feel under a time pressure, we are quicker to anger and focus more on ourselves and our wants. Both of these hinder us in our ability to act compassionately, without giving us any more time.
It doesn’t take longer to treat others with kindness. If you are on a train that is delayed, being rude to the conductor won’t get the train into the station any faster. Having the presence of mind to recognize and let go of what is beyond our control is an important step toward compassion. We have written previously in There Is Always Time For Compassionate Leadership that compassionate leadership helps free up the leader’s time.
The real time eater is fear about the future, which drags out our decision-making process, or regret and rumination about the past, which is also an unproductive use of time.
Twenty-four hours each day to save the world.
How many times have you heard someone say, “I wish there were more time in the day”? When that feeling is combined with our well-intentioned motivation to make positive change in the world, we can put ourselves in a vise between the finite amount of time and the infinite needs of the world. No wonder we feel squeezed.
The antidote to this squeezing vise lies with two actions. The first is to submit to the reality of the twenty-four-hour limit to each day. Acknowledging this simple fact helps us shift the question from “How can I make more time?” to “What is mine to do right now?” Recognize that for every action you take there will be many, many actions you can’t take. Don’t waste your limited time regretting all the things that you can’t do. You can’t do it all.
The second action is to be intentional and clear about what matters most. With a clear sense of purpose we can more easily weigh the choices we have, which allows for a more natural, easeful decision-making process. The fear of not making the right decision can paralyze us and delay us in moving from discernment into action. This delay of moving into action is another potential source of time pressure.
In Closing…
Suffering has always been in the world and will always be with us. As we strive to ease the suffering of others with our compassionate actions, we must also recognize the limits of our actions. We must be realistic and willing to accept that we can’t create all the change we would like to see. When we accept our limits, we free ourselves from the major source of our time pressures – our internal fears about the future and regrets over the past. By leading and living in the present moment, you can tap into the awareness necessary for clarity, wise decision-making, and compassionate action.