Leaders are doers by nature. And great leaders know how to bring a wholehearted, sustainable approach in the being and doing aspects in life and leadership. When we bring a compassionate lens to how we show up in the world, there is an active aspect that goes beyond our good thoughts or abstractions about the qualities of compassion.
Skillfully moving compassion into action is how we create safety, connection and belonging for ourselves and for others. Compassion is the path we follow to support us through the uncertainty and challenges of the moment. Here are three approaches to weave more compassionate action into your path of thriving.
Compassion is an active practice more than an idea
Understanding the concept of compassion is important. But that knowledge is only a means to an end, which is compassionate action. Our appreciation for the theory and science requires our active practice to be coupled with action that brings compassion into the world and into our relationships with others.
By definition, compassion includes action. Compassion is the awareness of the suffering of another coupled with the intention to help relieve that suffering. When we open ourselves up to recognizing the pain in others, we open ourselves up to sharing that pain. This empathetic response can leave us exposed to exhaustion, burnout, and unrelieved pain ourselves if we stay in mutual distress without compassionate action. Moving into action is the essential part of the practice that creates more sustainability for ourselves and others.
Compassion starts with the self, but never ends there
The Center for Compassionate Leadership’s model begins with self-compassion. While this may seem paradoxical, given that compassion is focused on relieving the suffering of others, there is nothing contradictory about starting with relieving our own suffering.
The root meaning of “com” in compassion means “with.” In order to be with someone else in their suffering, we must first be accepting of our own woundedness. If we don’t acknowledge our own inner landscape first, we will distort our understanding of someone else’s suffering.
This is particularly important for leaders, given their significant influence over the lives of their teams and organizations. When leaders do not address their own need for self-compassion, they run the risk of projecting their suffering onto their team. The most common manifestation of this shows up as shaming and blaming behaviors. Instead of alleviating suffering, leaders – even well-intentioned leaders – can wind up increasing their team’s suffering, if they haven’t done their own self-work.
Let go of the outcome
The act of compassion alone is sufficient. One of the difficult realities of compassionate action is that we may never know the impact of the action we take. For goal-oriented, achievement minded leaders, this can be particularly challenging. Compassion is not something to achieve.
Sometimes we can see the impact of our compassionate action. Other times, it isn’t so clear. In those cases, it requires trust that the action taken was the right thing to do. To help fortify our inner trust meter, there is clear evidence that compassionate acts are powerful, even when we can’t see the result.
For example, compassion is contagious, and one compassionate act increases the level of compassion of everyone involved. Compassionate action not only benefits the giver and receiver, but it also benefits third parties who simply observe the compassionate act.
In closing…
We often discuss how important it is for compassionate leaders to go first. Showing up fully. Being present and leading with love. Modeling the courage to take action, even when it’s hard, is what this journey is all about. This is how we change ourselves, our systems, and the greater whole.