Bridging the Gap – Compassion After the Election

Elections are by their nature divisive. We have to make selections, choosing one candidate over another. The process of voting is an act of distinguishing, categorizing, separating. That does not mean that we have to become divided in our other actions.

While most election years seem to wrap-up with a commentary like “this year has been one of the most divisive in recent memory,” this year we really mean it in the United States. This strong sense of separation around core values and issues – right/wrong, good/bad, left/right – has been building for years in many countries around the globe at an accelerating scale.

As compassionate citizens and leaders, we don’t have to see the options, the action of others, or our own actions through this dualistic lens. We each have the power to choose reconnection and reconciliation. Try practicing these four approaches to constructing a more cooperative, compassionate world after the election.

Attend to your personal agenda first.

The divisions in our world are so pronounced right now, that it is easy to focus our attention on what is wrong. Turning your focus toward positive solutions is the important first step. How would you like the world to look? How would you like us to interact with each other? When you answer these questions, you have very effectively charted your own course. As Gandhi wisely said, “Be the change you want to see.” Strive to interact with others the way you answered the second question above. We change the world when we change ourselves. Our constructive acts ripple outward in very powerful ways.

Doing this is, of course, more difficult than just saying it. Nonetheless, with positive intention, consistent attention, and patience, you will be amazed at how much progress you can make. The next three approaches all support your ability to become what you want the world to become.

Reflect, don’t react.

Politicians use fear for a very effective reason. It gets your reptilian, reactive brain to push your mammalian thinking brain to the side. From a position of fear, we are much easier to manipulate. You have the power to control what you listen to, and where you want to place your attention. Remember you can always pause to reflect between the stimulus and the response. Then you can make decisions based upon your own agenda, not the agenda of politicians trying to extract a vote from you.

It's also helpful to reflect on our current global circumstances with a historical context. The current pandemic and political challenges are indeed quite difficult. Remembering that humankind has endured plagues, wars, and political oppression across the centuries, we can begin to recognize that this is, sadly, part of the modern human condition. Settling our mind with stillness and reflection enables us to step back from the current chaos and have perspective from a place of common suffering and humanity.

Recognize our interconnectedness.

Many factors cause us to feel different and separate from others. Political campaigning pulls those differences into the most prominent position possible. It is hard not to focus on the difference between “us” and “them” given the nonstop commentary of “blue states” and “red states” in America and the labeling that goes on in the midst of campaigning.

At the heart of repairing a breach in our relationships is the recognition that those who hold different beliefs from ours also share many deep similarities. A good place to start to rebuild our sense of interconnectedness is with a Just Like Me practice. Part of this practice involves wishing the other person well, as hard as that may be. Consider this, though. What if someone you view as hateful were actually happy and healthy and felt safe from harm? Their hateful actions arise from a place of fear, not safety. The path beyond the divide is the path of healing, not the paths of retaliation or further condemnation.

This is not a zero-sum game.

Elections are a zero-sum game. For one candidate to win, another must lose. In the midst of election season, with this win/lose dichotomy in front of us every day, it is easy to believe the same thing about life. But it isn’t true. We create more when we cooperate. Darwin, who is probably most associated with the term “survival of the fittest,” was clear that communities with the most cooperative community members flourished the most. In Darwin’s research, cooperative communities had the most offspring and the healthiest offspring. If we want to thrive maximally as a society, we need to cooperate maximally. While there will always be plenty of individuals who make this more difficult, you can be the person to reach out and offer a cooperative approach.

If all the divisions showing themselves in this election season are making you feel uncomfortable, that isn’t surprising. We are built and wired for connection. Take time to slow your thoughts down. Then seek out more connection and cooperation with people in your life and at work, including those who are difficult. When you take the initiative, you will feel better, and will be a true leader creating a more compassionate, flourishing world.