We have a front row seat to all the suffering around the globe as our communication capacity grows and the world shrinks. With an expanded lens, one might expect compassion to increase as we witness more and more suffering. Research shows that the opposite occurs. Compassion decreases. This is known as compassion collapse. While this may seem counterintuitive, we respond this way in the belief that this will protect ourselves. The fear that the needs of others will overwhelm us drives us toward a self-protective response of emotional limitation.
Is this the most helpful response? Compassionate leaders must recognize that we are at risk for compassion collapse and that leaning into our emotions is the way through. This will not only support our ability to respond compassionately, but also tap into the regenerative nature of compassion to keep us resourced.
Acknowledge the reality of the world.
The first step to building capacity to respond to suffering is to acknowledge that humans have always suffered, and suffering will most certainly continue throughout our lifetime. If we hold on to the belief that we can save or completely fix the world, we are setting ourselves up for failure. Any perfectionist tendencies will cause us to push and push until we are finally overwhelmed. By acknowledging the reality of the suffering that exists, we grow our capacity to stand strong in the face of it. While this takes great courage, if we suppress our response to the suffering, we move toward compassion collapse. A realistic view of the world helps point us to where the needs are the greatest, whereas compassion collapse negates our ability to respond.
Stay focused on what you can do and value that.
With a sense of where you want to devote your energy, you can focus on what is possible. Focusing on what is possible allows you to maintain a positive approach even when what is possible may seem like a small action relative to the scope of a large problem.
Take a look at how small acts of kindness have big impacts. For starters, kindness is a win-win-win proposition for those involved. It not only benefits the recipient of kindness, but it also benefits third parties who witness the kindness. It also benefits the giver of kindness, helping to recharge the inner energy tank. When we move toward taking whatever action we are able to offer, we relieve other’s suffering and strengthen our own ability to keep going.
Limit your consumption of modern media.
It is in the commercial interest of news outlets to present news in sensationalist forms. That approach captures and holds our attention. It also triggers our anxiety. If we are to “acknowledge the reality of the world” as described above, it is important to be well-informed and knowledgeable. The round the clock news cycle and the stimulus from a beeping device take us out of the realm of becoming well-informed and into the realm of being buried. And, when it comes to social media, the highly limited and edited parts of the lives of others that it reveals suggest that it is actually representing the “unreality of the world.”
Find ways that you can consume news and social media that don’t produce anxiety or become addicting. Look for the sources, communities, and people that go beyond just naming the ills of the world to inspire you to create compassionate ways to respond.
Can we really control our emotions by turning away from the challenges in the world?
The self-protective motivation behind compassion collapse – the idea that we will avoid overwhelm by pushing down or avoiding our emotional response – is an illusion. Turning away from the pain and suffering is not the answer. Unprocessed emotions will create more challenges down the road. The more we are willing to face difficult situations, the stronger our compassion muscle will become.
In closing...
We are all at risk for compassion collapse. Knowing that this will block our flow of compassion, it’s important that we discover ways to lean into our experience and emotions. With this awareness and acknowledgement, our compassion will flow more freely. This is exactly how compassionate leaders bring change into the world with deep commitment and courage.